Dear Professor Brad,
I would like to utilize this email to allow you to know more
about me. My name is Clement Tan and I am currently a year 1 telematics student
attending your technical communication seminar for the first time.
I graduated from Republic Polytechnic in 2016 with a diploma
in civil aviation before serving my national service. Being a person who have
developed an interest in the transportation industries, I decided to take on
the telematics programme to further enhance my knowledge and skills. One of my
hobbies includes kart racing, as the sport allows me to have an exhilarating
experience which in turn helps me to relieve the stress and frustrations that
are built up over a certain period of time. It is also through kart racing
where I get to meet and know people coming from different walks of life with a
common interest.
I have identified one of my strengths to be open-minded. In
addition, I believe that I have the ability to adapt to situations easily as
well as understanding the differences between individual opinions. As for my
weakness, it involves listening. To elaborate, I am a person who enjoy having
conversations with others, but sometimes I tend to jump into assumptions or
even interrupt the conversation without listening to it entirely. I seek to
improve and prevent such situations from taking place. Personally, I believe if
I were to take a step back, it will aid me in becoming a good listener. This will
allow me to respond effectively and appropriately to the people I am
conversing with.
My goals for this module is to refine my self-presentation
skills, allowing me to improve my presentation as an individual. On top of
that, the unlimited opportunities in school and classes will also enable me to
practice active listening, allowing me to benefit in the area of communications
skills.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to learn more
about me. I look forward to attending your future seminars in the upcoming
weeks.
Yours Sincerely,
Clement
Blogs commented on:
- Danny
- Ahmad
Last edited on: 05th October 2018
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePros:
Delete- Well written Subject
- 1st paragraph kept neat with a basic self introduction
- Well shown command of English
- Well written ending with a form of gratitude towards the recipient
- Did not divert from the main subject, well planned writing
Cons:
- From the 2nd paragraph 5th line "helps me to relive the stress", "relieve" instead of "relive"
Good Day Amos,
DeleteThank you for your valuable feedback on my work. I will take note of your comments and work on the mistakes to improve myself.
Best Regards,
Clement
Hi Clement,
ReplyDeleteIt is really cool to know that kart racing is your hobby as Singapore has only a few Go Kart outlet.
I think it will be good to have a spelling check. Case in point, relieve is written wrongly.
It will be great to have short sentences instead of one full sentence for the second last paragraph.
It is great to have a better understanding of you.
Dear Jia Ying,
DeleteThank you for providing me with your kind feedback! I will take extra precaution in my future work to prevent myself from making the same mistake again.
Best Regards,
Clement
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDear Clement,
DeleteThanks for sharing in this detailed descriptive reflection. The post is informative while also being generally clear and concise. I enjoyed learning about your various interests, including kart racing. You mentioning that brought up memories for me since when I was a small boy my father was an avid 'go-kart' racer, and he would allow me to ride with him or drive as well. Exhilirating indeed!
I also enjoyed learning about your strengths and weaknesses in communication, and I appreciate how you already have a goal in mind on how to address your weaknesses.
There are a few sentences in this letter that have minor problems I'd like to point out. However, I can't seem to cut and paste.
In the second sentence of the second paragraph, there is an issue with subject-verb disagreement. Also, in the last sentence of that paragraph, there is a minor issue with sentence structure. Maybe you can ask me about that.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for your constructive feedback on my blog. I will take into account your advice and improve my writing in the future. I will look for you after class to learn more about the mistakes I have made.
Best Regards,
Clement